www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV59j4UQx-I

The other day I came across the site http://www.fiverr.com . The whole premise of the site is to offer services for no more than five dollars.  Here a few of the services offered for a measly five bucks.

• I will phone up anyone you want on their birthday and sing Happy Birthday to them Marilyn Monroe style for $5
  
• I will sing a personalized Happy Birthday song in Indonesian for $5
  
• I will for 10 days be your fake facebook girlfriend for $5
  
• I will teach you how to make wine for $5

These are just a few examples. Aside from the crazy silly stuff. You can actually hire out some pretty dang useful task, like having a business plan written, WP blog set up and even your personal avatar created all for just five bucks!
I began thinking about what crazy marketing scheme could I come up with for five dollars? So without any further interruption I bring you , (drumroll please) “Girl punching her boyfriend in the face while shouting ROB BURNS ROCKS!”

Feel free to let me know your thoughts and any crazy marketing schemes you may have devised for five dollars. Just add a comment below

I just wanted to drop a note about my friend Ori Bengal A.K.A. Couch surfing Ori.
…
Ori has surfed the couches of more influential internet marketers, thought leaders, and leading edge CEO’s than you can shake a stick at.

Because of his unique experiences he is the walking talking cumulative knowledge of all the internet marketing gods combined!

I am telling you this because Ori has decided to come out into the open and start sharing his knowledge with us common folk. He recently surfed my couch for a week or so and during that time we had to do an emergency run to Mexico to have some work done on his teeth. (Couch surfing injury, seriously ask him if you get the chance)

Anyways in an effort to raise some cash to cover surgery Ori is offering consulting on everything from internet marketing to advanced photography. The best part is he is offering a FREE fifteen minute consult. You might think fifteen minutes is nothing but you have never meet Ori. Seriously this dude gave me more ideas in fifteen minutes than other lame ass folks I have paid for the entire day.

So if you want some great free advice give him a call, and if you like what you hear possibly you could send this message out to your list and post on your social media channels.

Just so you know I have absolutely nothing to gain financially from this email or from Ori. Just wanted to help a really talented friend out. Just tell him Rob sent you and he may actually go a bit over 15 min!

So what do you have to loose? It’s fricken free you morons!!

Find out more here! http://www.couchsurfingori.com/blog/remember-seven-minutes-in-heaven-this-is-way-better/

Mahalo,

Rob

Everyday my spam box is assaulted by a cornucopia of self proclaimed Internet marketing gurus, SEO wizards and social media masters. They all claim to have discovered some new “secret” system that is going to launch your Internet business into the stratosphere!

Their claims usually go something like this “if you purchase my new super website optimizer whirligig thingamajiger extreme program and invest only a few short hours a month I will make you a mega gajillionare! “This is always followed by testimonials of supposedly real people who have used said superduper grifter system and now are super rich themselves never having to work again a day in their lives.

So here it comes folks, this is a part where I break out my shiny new gold encrusted needle so I can burst your get rich quick bubble. The fact is designing building and marketing your Internet property is HARD it is a firkin lot of work! I would even go so far as to say it is more time and effort than a lot of traditional brick and mortar businesses.

If you don’t believe me take a look at this mind map of what it takes to build a web based business. It’s a little condensed and hard to read because the original is actually about 6 foot tall when printed out there is THAT much stuff to do.

So now that I have probably made the vast majority of you completely despondent. There is an upside, with a lot of hard work on the front end you can build a business that provides residual income and pretty much runs itself with minimal oversight.

So if you are willing to take on a bit of a learning curve and do a lot of hard work, then being an Internet entrepreneur may just be for you. My suggestion is to learn the basics first, learn how to be proficient with on page optimization. Learn proper ethical and effective link building techniques.Write compelling articles and stories, don’t just slap down keyword stuffed outsourced to India crap ass articles. Think of your Internet business just like you would a regular brick-and-mortar business.

There are tools that later on can help with your online business. But these usually are for making an already busy online business more effective and efficient. So don’t waste your money listening to all the so-called guru’s out there they are banking on your belief that you can have an easy way out of doing the required hard work, and to be perfectly honest between you and me back in the day I probably purchased every single whirligig Internet marketing shortcut making software program or system out there. So I can say with much embarrassment but from experience. If I would have just worked the fundamentals and done the work in the beginning I would have made it to the place I am now probably in about half the time.

So my promise to you is, I will never become an get rich quick Internet marketing guru. In fact from this day forward I declare myself on Internet marketing urug! I am now the anti-guru, instead of selling you some impossible bill of goods about not having to work to make your Internet business a success. I am going to attempt to tell you how it really is, which for the most part includes a lot of blood sweat and tears. You’re going to make mistakes and probably lose some money but that’s part of the process and eventually as your level of skill and  knowledge increase so will your income.

So stop following those guru’s out there, if their systems were so great why aren’t they just hiding out in some dark corner using their fancy dancy get rich quick thingamajiger to generate virtual cash registers for themselves? Why do they need you to buy their product if it is such a money machine? I promise you it is not because they are kindhearted souls who want to spread their income generating love throughout the world.

I believe I have stood ranting on my soapbox quite long enough now. It’s time to get back to work being an urug, you should too!

Hey if you liked this post or even if you didn’t like it,  feel free to add your comments below and join in on the conversation.

Please retweet: Just copy and paste line below in twitter

RT @robburnsbrain I Declare My Self The Worlds First Internet Marketing uruG! ( Rob Burns Brain Blog ) http://bit.ly/cn1RxC